Friday, June 12, 2009

BURNING RETINAS.. HOLY MACRO MOLEY

Ok, so I am filling in a few shifts at the Y lifeguarding in the morning... when I say morning, I mean late nite for some people. I get there at 4:45 AM to open the pool for the 5:15 swimmers. Believe it or not, people actually are awake and functioning at that time. Getting up in the 4:00 hour is do able.. at least for me. But getting up in the 3:00 hour.. cmon. I remember just going to a 'different' club at that time in college b/c the other ones had closed and I was SO not done for the nite. Well, I'm about 50 years older now so that never happens anymore.

almost never

Fortunately, I was super tired and barely able to keep my eyes open while scanning the pool. Safe?.. uh.. But I did say FORTUNATELY. BECAAUUUSEE... I swear when men get older, they become less aware of the need to cover their body parts appropriately. This man came out wearing the TINIEST of speedo's. Even some of my VS collection cover more square inch than this man's itty bitty speedo bikini.

WHY???


WHY OH WHY must he also be in such a compomising position so that I see even less of his itty teenie mankini when I go to check on him in the hot tub area?????

Dear God, I think I have just burned holes in my retinas. Please pray that I gain my eyesight back so I don't crash on my bike ride later today.

AMEN

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